The Inner Bean

So having a teenager in the house means finding myself often exposed to things I wouldn’t normally expose myself to. For example, that stupid Parent/Child dating show on MTV and the increasing number of “celebrity smash shows.”  That is what I will call them.  You may call them something else. They are shows in which a group of F-list nobodies, ranging from celebrity hair-stylists to “Nicole Kidman look-alike” experts, sit around watching clips of things like the Oscars and Grammy’s and the celebrities who appear at them. Then they sit and poking fun at them with dripping sarcasm. Rehab and drugs are serious things, not to be shone amusingly in the spotlight while the guys from washed up glam bands stroke their beards and talk about bubble butts and Brittany’s overdose.

Now most of these people like to pretend they are smarter than Brittany Spears or Paris Hilton, but in the end they sound equally repulsive, petty and stupid.  They watch celebrities do stupid things, and to try and make a name for themselves they make stupid, self-absorbed commentaries about celebrities, and still wind up being no one.

Does anyone over thirteen in the world really watch Talk Soup on E?  Entertainment Tonight?  Any of the numerous nutty shows that now consume VH1 (didn’t VH1 used to be a video music channel for pete’s sake?) like Cutest Celebrity Baby and Top Fashion Faux Pas of the Red Carpet Week 9876.

I mean don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with having a sense of humor, and being sarcastic is one of my fortes, but  you couldn’t pay me enough to sit on a VH1 stage and poke fun at Adrian Zmed’s hair in Grease 2.   They also can’t pay me to watch the crap either.

It’s just another chapter in the reality TV hype that is burning me out on TV completely.   I wish more people would tune out so they’d get the hint and stop promoting that kind of garbage.

Coming soon: When did we start turning every sentence into a question?  Are we really that unsure of what we’re saying?

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